Couch Surfing: Part 2/3

I guess, the most fascinating aspect about meeting people from other nationalities is that you get to see India from the outside. Things they know, seem to know or wrongly know about us, gives us a peep into how they see us. You realize that what is natural or common place for us, is ‘absolutely unbelievable’ for them.

Take the case of ‘arranged marriage’ in India. It’s amazing that they all seem to have an idea about it. And even though you don't really believe in the system yourself, you can't really be seen as someone mocking it. 

As archaic as it seems to me today, the system must have merits given how long it has been in practice. It is prevalent even today. I started thinking about how this system would work in the olden days. Given that there was a point in time when women in India were not allowed to step out of the house (to either study or work or even to do household chores), this system would be quite effective.

So you start with explaining how the system is not really so bizarre, how in India decisions are usually taken as a family and how parents are considered the best decision makers for their children and that is part of who we are. 

This usually leads to another topic which baffles them - the fact that children do not move out of their family homes at the age of 18 yrs. Additionally, there is absolute mind numbing shock to the practice of couples staying with the parents post marriage. It seems like such a natural thing for us, but they see this practice stifling and an indication of ‘control freak’ parents.

Apart from the 2 years I have spent in Pune, I have always been home. I did not ever think of staying by myself. I know a lot of people who are not staying with their families but for most of them, that is more a job or education related circumstance. I don’t know many people who would want to move out and stay away from home. Maybe we are very used to thinking in a certain fashion. Maybe we don’t think there is an option.

I distinctly remember the last time I had this discussion. I was headed to Elephanta Caves with a French national, who works for an electrical company and had come to India to attend a conference.

We were discussing things typically Indian, when we saw something even more Indian.

We were distracted by the sound of people chanting. They were all throwing religious items- garlands, flowers, water and other such items into the ocean. I could see him glance at the people and then at the water and then the people again. I hoped he wouldn’t ask one of those chanting mortals for an explanation regarding their behavior. You really never know how someone might react to being questioned, especially by a foreigner.

Before he could say anything, I offered an explanation for their behavior. I explained to him how certain items especially religious ones, need to be disposed off into a water body.

‘Religion is quite big here, isn’t it?’

A loaded question, if there was any. I smiled back a ‘yes’.

We veered to other topics. We got to talking about his work, the exhibition he was down for. He told me how their patented ideas were being ripped off by local players.

Since I started participating on Couch Surfing, I had increasingly become aware of being ‘Indian’. Visitors to the country don’t care that you are Marathi, Bengali or Gujarati or Assamese. They don’t care whether you are of any particular caste or creed or religion. You are simply Indian.

So I was thoroughly embarrassed even though I wasn’t really responsible for this copyright infringement. When he mentioned the blatant wrong, it felt personal. It somehow felt that he was telling me that Indians aren’t ethical or trustworthy. I know he wasn’t doing anything of that sort, but I felt embarrassed the same.

After the India leg of his trip, he was headed to China. I was wondering whether to tell him he should buckle up and expect more.

‘You do know what China is quite adept at copying technology’, I quipped with an intention to not sound high handed.

‘Yes. They would. So in the first year, they would make a cheap rip off. Subsequent attempts to improve the products would result in improvement in quality. There would be a stage in this blatant copy paste job that the quality of the product made would be better than the original. 

At such a stage, we buy this Chinese company out’.

Okay. That was brilliant. So they are making the same product, at a cheaper cost and superior quality as well. Evil genius.

To be continued...