Couch Surfing: Part 2/3

I guess, the most fascinating aspect about meeting people from other nationalities is that you get to see India from the outside. Things they know, seem to know or wrongly know about us, gives us a peep into how they see us. You realize that what is natural or common place for us, is ‘absolutely unbelievable’ for them.

Take the case of ‘arranged marriage’ in India. It’s amazing that they all seem to have an idea about it. And even though you don't really believe in the system yourself, you can't really be seen as someone mocking it. 

As archaic as it seems to me today, the system must have merits given how long it has been in practice. It is prevalent even today. I started thinking about how this system would work in the olden days. Given that there was a point in time when women in India were not allowed to step out of the house (to either study or work or even to do household chores), this system would be quite effective.

So you start with explaining how the system is not really so bizarre, how in India decisions are usually taken as a family and how parents are considered the best decision makers for their children and that is part of who we are. 

This usually leads to another topic which baffles them - the fact that children do not move out of their family homes at the age of 18 yrs. Additionally, there is absolute mind numbing shock to the practice of couples staying with the parents post marriage. It seems like such a natural thing for us, but they see this practice stifling and an indication of ‘control freak’ parents.

Apart from the 2 years I have spent in Pune, I have always been home. I did not ever think of staying by myself. I know a lot of people who are not staying with their families but for most of them, that is more a job or education related circumstance. I don’t know many people who would want to move out and stay away from home. Maybe we are very used to thinking in a certain fashion. Maybe we don’t think there is an option.

I distinctly remember the last time I had this discussion. I was headed to Elephanta Caves with a French national, who works for an electrical company and had come to India to attend a conference.

We were discussing things typically Indian, when we saw something even more Indian.

We were distracted by the sound of people chanting. They were all throwing religious items- garlands, flowers, water and other such items into the ocean. I could see him glance at the people and then at the water and then the people again. I hoped he wouldn’t ask one of those chanting mortals for an explanation regarding their behavior. You really never know how someone might react to being questioned, especially by a foreigner.

Before he could say anything, I offered an explanation for their behavior. I explained to him how certain items especially religious ones, need to be disposed off into a water body.

‘Religion is quite big here, isn’t it?’

A loaded question, if there was any. I smiled back a ‘yes’.

We veered to other topics. We got to talking about his work, the exhibition he was down for. He told me how their patented ideas were being ripped off by local players.

Since I started participating on Couch Surfing, I had increasingly become aware of being ‘Indian’. Visitors to the country don’t care that you are Marathi, Bengali or Gujarati or Assamese. They don’t care whether you are of any particular caste or creed or religion. You are simply Indian.

So I was thoroughly embarrassed even though I wasn’t really responsible for this copyright infringement. When he mentioned the blatant wrong, it felt personal. It somehow felt that he was telling me that Indians aren’t ethical or trustworthy. I know he wasn’t doing anything of that sort, but I felt embarrassed the same.

After the India leg of his trip, he was headed to China. I was wondering whether to tell him he should buckle up and expect more.

‘You do know what China is quite adept at copying technology’, I quipped with an intention to not sound high handed.

‘Yes. They would. So in the first year, they would make a cheap rip off. Subsequent attempts to improve the products would result in improvement in quality. There would be a stage in this blatant copy paste job that the quality of the product made would be better than the original. 

At such a stage, we buy this Chinese company out’.

Okay. That was brilliant. So they are making the same product, at a cheaper cost and superior quality as well. Evil genius.

To be continued...

Couch Surfing: Part 1/3

I like meeting new people. It broadens your horizons, widens perspective and prevents the onset of ‘frog in the well’ syndrome. That is what drew me to couch surfing in the first place: the opportunity to meet new people, people from different countries, hear about their way of life, hear stories about their travel (good, bad and ugly ones) and to have new experiences.

For the uninitiated, let me take a brief moment and explain what couch surfing is all about.

Isn’t it true that travel is more fun when you have friends wherever you go and who make you feel at home in any city?

Imagine having interesting friends around the world who will host you in their homes, show you around, and offer you a local’s perspective on what’s cool and interesting in their towns.

It is essentially a network of people who love travelling, who share their experiences and travel advice. It gives you a platform to research travel destinations from locals as well as those who have travelled to a place of your interest to make the most of your trips, avoid mistakes they made and essentially have a good holiday.

As a host, you not only learn about new cultures, but also reignite your love for your city by constantly seeing it through fresh eyes.

Interesting isn’t it?

But when I first heard about couch surfing, I was apprehensive. The curious cat within me saw it as a fantastic opportunity to meet new people, while the paranoid within me thought of it as a situation which could potentially unravel to horrid proportions.

In the time that I spent deliberating over the merits of couch surfing, friends I knew were meeting new people, taking them around the city, sharing stories of their experiences with me. Curiosity won and I decided to give in to the lure of being an ambassador for my country.

The first few interactions were simple email exchanges. The requests varied - helping them out with suggestions for places to eat, places to shop for souvenirs, where to buy jewelry from, what price range would the cab fare be etc. I was just being their travel help without actually spending time with them. It was ‘good samaritan’ behavior at a safe distance. I was just starting to realize how much help knowing a local can be. No wonder this concept is such a success.

Tourists visiting Mumbai have some typical requests. Everyone who comes to the country since ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, wants to visit Dharavi (after all, it is the largest slum in Asia). Then there is the ‘place of the terrorist attack’, ‘the Gateway of India’, the ‘queen’s necklace’ and many of them want to see a Hindi movie too!

And then there are also some atypical requests as well. Having been in the city for over 20 years now, I believed myself to be quite familiar with the city. I could not have been more wrong. The Lonely Planet, a Bible for tourists, has shown me exactly how much I don't know about my own city. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I have had to rely on good old Google a lot more than I would have liked.

The first time I took someone to the ‘Gateway of India’ was an eye opener. The American I was with, wandered off to take some photographs and I was following him at a distance with a fellow from the UK. This other person I was with, was essentially a Bangladeshi national who had settled in the UK. In the context of skin color, he did not stand out in the crowd of people at the Gateway unlike my American friend. It is unbelievable how many people asked a random American to pose for photographs. And he obliged with a huge grin on his face too. I don’t understand this phenomenon! I hardly think Indians are hounded abroad like we hound anyone with ‘foreign’ looking skin! And if we are, I hope we are as graceful.

The most embarrassing part about such episodes, are the questions that follow.

‘Why are Indians so fascinated with foreigners?’

‘Is it true that dark skin is frowned upon in India?’

And by far the most interesting one,’Where can I get a tan like yours?’

It is a well known fact that foreigners like colored skin. I guess everyone wants what they don’t have. They are surrounded by white skinned individuals. Everyone is a different shade of white and for them brown (yes, that is what they called me) is rare.

We, on the other hand, are surrounded by different shades of brown. This would explain the fascination for 'fair and lovely' skin here...:D

The first time I was asked this, I could not believe what I was hearing: ‘Where can I get a tan like yours. I want to be chocolate brown’

I had gone deep red in the face. But since the first time, I have learnt to handle my blush a lot better…:D

To be continued...