Vikruti Evam Prakriti

On 2 July 2009, the Delhi High Court de-criminalized homosexual intercourse between consenting adults, throughout India. It felt good to know that we as a country are ready to recognize the gay community. 

However, around seven months or so ago, I realized that it is not just the legal recognition that the community is fighting for.

I had decided not to right about this. But the recent controversy around the gay rights in California, brought back some old memories and so I thought of sharing my story.

I have altered some aspects of the story to ensure privacy of my friend. Let us name him XYZ.

There is a park near my home which I try to visit at least thrice a week. Since I have lived in the same locality since childhood, most of the faces at the park are familiar.

I ran into XYZ just as I was leaving the park one day. I had never seen his guy before. He is the sort of person who is hard to miss. He is about 6‘3” tall, very fair and looks like he is a regular at some gym.

Over the next few days, we graduated to smiling at each other when we passed each other.

A few days later, we had our first conversation at the juice center just outside the park. A consultant by profession, he was originally from Delhi and had moved to Mumbai a few months back.

XYZ and me were at the juice counter having small talk, when a group was just leaving the park. Since I know the group, I sort of waved a blanket good bye to everyone. To my surprise, a few of them completely ignored the greeting and proceeded out of the park.

Probably, they were engrossed in their own conversations; I thought to myself.

XYZ asked me,’ Do you know why they did not return your greeting?’

I did not know what to say, so I just waited for him to answer his own question.

‘It’s because you are standing with me’

Over the last few days, I had realized XYZ was gay. It did not affect my behavior with him. Why should it? His sexual orientation is of absolutely no consequence to me.

‘Have you seen anyone ever talking to me?’

Knowing that he was new to the city, I did not particularly expect him to have friends here. Somehow, the fact that people could be avoiding him just never struck me.

‘So now, they will not talk to you when you are with me’

OK. This was plain bizarre. Come on. People are not that crazy. Or were they?

‘I have been a member of this gym since over 4 months now. I used to work out in the evening’

He went ahead and told me how the gym members made him miserable. If he entered the weight training section, all the men pretty much vacated it the moment he entered the area.

They sniggered quite openly at him when he was working out and the men usually left the locker room when he walked in. Out of sheer dread, he had not even tried the steam room. He had paid up for a whole year, but he had stopped going to gym about a month or so back.

I felt nothing but abject pity for this man.

He went ahead and told me how he had met his partner. Both the men had decided to tell their families about each other. His parents in Delhi had disowned him. And currently they were dealing with his partners’ family in Mumbai. The outcome did not look positive there either.

It was not like they were children who had lost their way. It was a realization, a choice. And yet, no one was willing to accept their decision.

I started thinking about just how lonely they must be feeling.

Can you imagine your family disowning you? Can you ever imagine that your family would ever say that they rather have no child ? If family doesn’t understand, then who will?

I started thinking about the group who had apparently ignored me. What could they possibly have against this guy? The sexual orientation of one person should not matter to anyone else. Or is it because it is something they are unable to deal with? Can’t comprehend? Is it because they think it is not natural?

The sexual orientation of the person is such a personal choice. The Rigveda, one of the four canonical sacred texts of Hinduism says 'Vikruti Evam Prakriti'. It means - what seems un-natural is also natural. Historical literary evidence indicates that homosexuality has been prevalent across the Indian subcontinent throughout history, and that homosexuals were not necessarily considered inferior in any way.

I doubt if people consider the gay community to be inferior in any way. While legalizing gay marriages is important, a social approval and acceptance would definitely go a long way to make them feel a part of the society. What they need is not be frowned upon or discriminated against. What we need now, is a change in mentality.