Angry Birds: Part 2 of 2

Why this topic caught my fancy is that very recently I was involved in a little skirmish with ‘Fashion & You’ on twitter.

I had ordered a set of cushion covers for a birthday gift sometime in mid August. September came and went and there was no peep from them. No intimation about where the consignment was, whether the shipment had even been dispatched, nothing. When I followed up with them towards the end of September, they said four to five weeks delivery time was standard.

In this day and age of around 3 days delivery time from online shopping portals, four to five weeks seems criminal. But it was apparently mentioned somewhere in the fine print, so I had no cause to get annoyed with them.

Come mid October and I was still awaiting the cushions. After a few failed attempts to get a response from their customer service number, I was thoroughly peeved.

I had been hearing so much about consumer complaints getting a better response on social media, I decided to give it a try.Twitter worked. Although I had to keep chasing them for a response, my money was refunded back to me on the last day of October.

But after reading about the arrest of Mr Ravi Srinivasan, I went back and re-read my tweets!

I don’t think I was rude. I was irritated, disappointed and thoroughly pissed off. But I wasn’t rude. It was a pre-paid order and I really wanted to know what the heck was going on.

With the massive reach of social media, I can clearly see why resolving an issue on social media is important. But why would an organization respond to an irate customer on social media and not to a consumer complaint on another medium? Just doesn’t make business sense.

Though personally, I have not had much to complain to Vodafone but to my knowledge, the Vodafone India twitter handle is quite particular about resolving consumer complaints quickly. And even they were not so amenable to ‘social’ feedback till some time ago.

In June 2011, Vodafone India sent a legal notice to Dhaval Valia, who ranted about its 3G services on Facebook, asking him to take down the ‘defamatory’ posts. Dhaval, who used to be a Loop Mobile customer before, had switched to Vodafone in April to use its 3G services. However, it was not available where he lives, contradicting Vodafone’s claims.

The notice asked him to refrain from making any comments against the company and also remove the posts in 48 hours.

In reply, Dhaval had mentioned his plans to initiate consumer and criminal cases against the company, questioning the methods Vodafone had used to trace his updates, since he had posted them in a private environment.

Post this, Vodafone Essar withdrew the notice in good faith. They further went on to say something to the effect of - “Vodafone Essar would also like to take this opportunity to inform that as a customer obsessed organization, we have always welcomed critical feedback and suggestions from both direct and social media customers as it helps us to constantly improve ourselves to serve their discerning needs”.

I wonder who instilled this ‘good faith’.

Was it Facebook who realized the extent of access given to Vodafone was going to be open for all to see or was it Vodafone realized the PR nightmare this was about to become?

I understand the need to exploit this mine of personal information people so readily share on social media. There are marketing businesses built on top of the idea that third parties can get access to data on social networking websites. But what exactly is the extent of privacy that we are guaranteed when we post/tweet about something?

We all know that Facebook tracks our behavior while we are logged on the site. How many of us are aware that the tracking continued even when we log off?

In 2011, Facebook was involved in a scandal regarding this breach.

Facebook admitted that it had been watching the web pages its members visit even after logging out of the site.  The social networking site was forced to confirm that it has been constantly tracking its 750 million users, even when they are using other sites.

Facebook said that the huge privacy breach was simply a mistake - that software automatically downloaded to users' computers when they logged in to Facebook 'inadvertently' sent information to the company, whether or not they were logged in at the time.

Really? Inadvertently? I really don’t think so.

On checking the changes in ‘privacy policy’ made by Facebook on 11^th May 2012, I came across some rather interesting points:

• If you comment on something public, your comment will be public      
• All of the things you do and share on Facebook may be used to target you with ads
• Facebook may retain your data for extended periods if its subject to a legal request or obligation, governmental investigation, or investigations" into violations of Facebook's policies

This is certainly a wakeup call to be cautious about the use of social-networking sites. It's more public than you may think at the time you signed up for the hype. 

It would be wise to remember that the Internet never forgets. I am surely going to be careful while exercising my freedom of speech and expression.

Angry Birds: Part 1 of 2

Once spoken, words can't be taken back.

We see the impact of thoughtlessly used words around us all the time. And we know from observations in our daily lives that when someone is hurt by words, they do not forget them easily.

Social media has provided people an additional platform to express themselves. And while ordinarily, the sense to be careful with your words should have extended to the social media, it does not seem to have.

And what surprises me is that there seems to be a quick punishment for expressing without any forethought or premeditation.

Very recently, I came across this case when a tweet from an Indian landed him in prison!

On 20 October, Ravi Srinivasan posted a tweet to his 16 followers saying that Karti Chidambaram, a politician belonging to India's ruling Congress party and son of Finance Minister P Chidambaram, had "amassed more wealth than Vadra".

Karti Chidambaram did not take the tweet in good humour and filed a police complaint on 29 October.

They arrested Mr Srinivasan early next morning, charged him under Section 66A of India's Information Technology [IT] Act, and demanded 15 days of police custody. Pondicherry's chief judicial magistrate declined remand and granted bail.

That was some quick reaction from the police!

While Rahul Gandhi is not on twitter yet, for all those tweeting, even in jest, about Robert Vadra and the Gandhi family, should really think twice henceforth…:D

This made me look back to a few more episodes caused by the twitterati.

Many people of international repute have been caught in the harsh light of twitter scandals. The types of scandals in which they have been involved, cover a wide range of types. They include nasty comments, intimate photos (mistakenly or otherwise) sent to the public.

The incidents affected the people involved in various ways. Apart from public humiliation, while some have been sued, some threatened with legal action, some have lost lucrative advertising deals simply by virtue of being careless with their words.

Take the case of the recent London Olympics help this year.

Greek triple-jumper Voula Papachristou made history July 25th, 2012 as the first Olympian to ever be banned from the games for a tweet.

She published a racist tweet, stating “So many Africans in Greece. At least, west Nile mosquitos will eat homemade food.”

Within 3 days the Greek Olympic committee issued a statement deeming her social media content “contrary to the values and ideals of the Olympic movement.”

The athlete was officially banned from competing in the upcoming Olympics due to her tasteless tweet. Papachristou even apologized but the 23 year-old athlete has not managed to win any sympathy since her open criticism for her punishment as “highly excessive.”

Michel Morganella, a Swiss soccer player, made an inappropriate statement and described South Koreans as a "bunch of mentally handicapped retards”. It was something he said in the heat of the moment. And though he apologized later, the damage had been done. The Swiss team sent Morganella home.

Morganella was the second athlete of these Games to cost himself a place on his team for his racist and unsportsmanlike tweets.

Stephanie Rice, an Australian swimming star found herself in deep trouble after a remark on Twitter after the Australian football team, the Wallabies, won a game against the Springboks in South Africa.  She called the South African team, ‘f**gots’. This is regarded by many as a term of abuse against homosexuals.

Rice lost a lucrative sponsorship deal with Jaguar. She also had to give up the Jaguar car that she was given by the brand…!

Does it occur to you that there is a steep price to pay for just a few loosely stated words? What we consider as a freedom of expression and our right to voice our opinion, could land us in trouble if we are not careful about just how are thoughts are communicated.

To be continued:

The Proposal: Part 1 of 4

This is absolutely funny, Zara thought.

So not only were employers looking at education as criteria for screening, prospective grooms were too! Tier 1 B School? Really? Had I known this, I would have definitely studied harder for my entrance exams!

‘Zara, listen to this’, her mother said with mirth in her eyes.

‘Tall, thin, fair, beautiful girl wanted’, her mother read,’ for a tall, broad, fair, handsome boy’.

Zara and her mother burst out laughing. All ads read the same. It was as if they all wanted the same girl and apparently, for the same boy!

‘This one looks good’, her mother said and handed over the newspaper.

So this fellow was obviously confused. First engineering, then law and then an MBA. Most parents saw highly educated when they read a lot of alphabets following someone’s name. But this education seemed confusing to say in the least. There was no correlation in the degrees pursued.

Zara’s parents were very liberal and they had willingly accepted when Zara had brought home Rahul. They did not belong to the same community. But neither families had any strict regulations about religion and marrying outside the community definitely carried no stigma. Rahul’s family had not only let her keep her name, she was also allowed to follow her religion openly.

They had gotten married at the first opportune moment and the families had got married as well. She wished the same for her younger sibling. But seeing such psychotic descriptions just made her worry.

Naima was everything a boy would want. She is perfect in every sense. Yes, she was biased towards her sister. But then who isn’t ? These people who advertised clearly thought a lot about themselves. Some of the men she had met, just matched the gender from the original description. Such liars them all.

And to trust such maniacs to take care of my baby sister. Especially this one, strictly no.

As if on cue, her sister snatched the paper from her hands and settled comfortably in the chair by the window.

‘None circled this week, huh?’

‘Your sister does not approve of this one’, her mother walked over and pointed out.

‘I can see why. Apart from his salary, there is nothing else specified here…! That is so shallow!’

‘Not that one. The one below that’.

First engineering, then law and then an MBA. Interesting. I would like to know where he went for his career counseling, Naima giggled to herself.

‘He is the right age, he is educated, lives in the same city. You can at least give it a shot’

‘Di, why didn’t you like him?’

‘Just didn’t feel right’

Why doesn’t ma leave the room, Zara thought.

It is only when Naima had reached the contact details did a gong go inside her head. It was a familiar number. There was a point in time she called the number more than ten times a day. He had not changed his 'lucky' cell number...!

A shiver went down her spine as she read the advertisement again: for someone who hated studies, he had managed 2 additional degrees. He still stays in the same area, she thought and started reminiscing about the time spent in his colony.

Wonder how he is doing, Naima thought.

To be continued…

Couch Surfing: Part 2/3

I guess, the most fascinating aspect about meeting people from other nationalities is that you get to see India from the outside. Things they know, seem to know or wrongly know about us, gives us a peep into how they see us. You realize that what is natural or common place for us, is ‘absolutely unbelievable’ for them.

Take the case of ‘arranged marriage’ in India. It’s amazing that they all seem to have an idea about it. And even though you don't really believe in the system yourself, you can't really be seen as someone mocking it. 

As archaic as it seems to me today, the system must have merits given how long it has been in practice. It is prevalent even today. I started thinking about how this system would work in the olden days. Given that there was a point in time when women in India were not allowed to step out of the house (to either study or work or even to do household chores), this system would be quite effective.

So you start with explaining how the system is not really so bizarre, how in India decisions are usually taken as a family and how parents are considered the best decision makers for their children and that is part of who we are. 

This usually leads to another topic which baffles them - the fact that children do not move out of their family homes at the age of 18 yrs. Additionally, there is absolute mind numbing shock to the practice of couples staying with the parents post marriage. It seems like such a natural thing for us, but they see this practice stifling and an indication of ‘control freak’ parents.

Apart from the 2 years I have spent in Pune, I have always been home. I did not ever think of staying by myself. I know a lot of people who are not staying with their families but for most of them, that is more a job or education related circumstance. I don’t know many people who would want to move out and stay away from home. Maybe we are very used to thinking in a certain fashion. Maybe we don’t think there is an option.

I distinctly remember the last time I had this discussion. I was headed to Elephanta Caves with a French national, who works for an electrical company and had come to India to attend a conference.

We were discussing things typically Indian, when we saw something even more Indian.

We were distracted by the sound of people chanting. They were all throwing religious items- garlands, flowers, water and other such items into the ocean. I could see him glance at the people and then at the water and then the people again. I hoped he wouldn’t ask one of those chanting mortals for an explanation regarding their behavior. You really never know how someone might react to being questioned, especially by a foreigner.

Before he could say anything, I offered an explanation for their behavior. I explained to him how certain items especially religious ones, need to be disposed off into a water body.

‘Religion is quite big here, isn’t it?’

A loaded question, if there was any. I smiled back a ‘yes’.

We veered to other topics. We got to talking about his work, the exhibition he was down for. He told me how their patented ideas were being ripped off by local players.

Since I started participating on Couch Surfing, I had increasingly become aware of being ‘Indian’. Visitors to the country don’t care that you are Marathi, Bengali or Gujarati or Assamese. They don’t care whether you are of any particular caste or creed or religion. You are simply Indian.

So I was thoroughly embarrassed even though I wasn’t really responsible for this copyright infringement. When he mentioned the blatant wrong, it felt personal. It somehow felt that he was telling me that Indians aren’t ethical or trustworthy. I know he wasn’t doing anything of that sort, but I felt embarrassed the same.

After the India leg of his trip, he was headed to China. I was wondering whether to tell him he should buckle up and expect more.

‘You do know what China is quite adept at copying technology’, I quipped with an intention to not sound high handed.

‘Yes. They would. So in the first year, they would make a cheap rip off. Subsequent attempts to improve the products would result in improvement in quality. There would be a stage in this blatant copy paste job that the quality of the product made would be better than the original. 

At such a stage, we buy this Chinese company out’.

Okay. That was brilliant. So they are making the same product, at a cheaper cost and superior quality as well. Evil genius.

To be continued...

Couch Surfing: Part 1/3

I like meeting new people. It broadens your horizons, widens perspective and prevents the onset of ‘frog in the well’ syndrome. That is what drew me to couch surfing in the first place: the opportunity to meet new people, people from different countries, hear about their way of life, hear stories about their travel (good, bad and ugly ones) and to have new experiences.

For the uninitiated, let me take a brief moment and explain what couch surfing is all about.

Isn’t it true that travel is more fun when you have friends wherever you go and who make you feel at home in any city?

Imagine having interesting friends around the world who will host you in their homes, show you around, and offer you a local’s perspective on what’s cool and interesting in their towns.

It is essentially a network of people who love travelling, who share their experiences and travel advice. It gives you a platform to research travel destinations from locals as well as those who have travelled to a place of your interest to make the most of your trips, avoid mistakes they made and essentially have a good holiday.

As a host, you not only learn about new cultures, but also reignite your love for your city by constantly seeing it through fresh eyes.

Interesting isn’t it?

But when I first heard about couch surfing, I was apprehensive. The curious cat within me saw it as a fantastic opportunity to meet new people, while the paranoid within me thought of it as a situation which could potentially unravel to horrid proportions.

In the time that I spent deliberating over the merits of couch surfing, friends I knew were meeting new people, taking them around the city, sharing stories of their experiences with me. Curiosity won and I decided to give in to the lure of being an ambassador for my country.

The first few interactions were simple email exchanges. The requests varied - helping them out with suggestions for places to eat, places to shop for souvenirs, where to buy jewelry from, what price range would the cab fare be etc. I was just being their travel help without actually spending time with them. It was ‘good samaritan’ behavior at a safe distance. I was just starting to realize how much help knowing a local can be. No wonder this concept is such a success.

Tourists visiting Mumbai have some typical requests. Everyone who comes to the country since ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, wants to visit Dharavi (after all, it is the largest slum in Asia). Then there is the ‘place of the terrorist attack’, ‘the Gateway of India’, the ‘queen’s necklace’ and many of them want to see a Hindi movie too!

And then there are also some atypical requests as well. Having been in the city for over 20 years now, I believed myself to be quite familiar with the city. I could not have been more wrong. The Lonely Planet, a Bible for tourists, has shown me exactly how much I don't know about my own city. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I have had to rely on good old Google a lot more than I would have liked.

The first time I took someone to the ‘Gateway of India’ was an eye opener. The American I was with, wandered off to take some photographs and I was following him at a distance with a fellow from the UK. This other person I was with, was essentially a Bangladeshi national who had settled in the UK. In the context of skin color, he did not stand out in the crowd of people at the Gateway unlike my American friend. It is unbelievable how many people asked a random American to pose for photographs. And he obliged with a huge grin on his face too. I don’t understand this phenomenon! I hardly think Indians are hounded abroad like we hound anyone with ‘foreign’ looking skin! And if we are, I hope we are as graceful.

The most embarrassing part about such episodes, are the questions that follow.

‘Why are Indians so fascinated with foreigners?’

‘Is it true that dark skin is frowned upon in India?’

And by far the most interesting one,’Where can I get a tan like yours?’

It is a well known fact that foreigners like colored skin. I guess everyone wants what they don’t have. They are surrounded by white skinned individuals. Everyone is a different shade of white and for them brown (yes, that is what they called me) is rare.

We, on the other hand, are surrounded by different shades of brown. This would explain the fascination for 'fair and lovely' skin here...:D

The first time I was asked this, I could not believe what I was hearing: ‘Where can I get a tan like yours. I want to be chocolate brown’

I had gone deep red in the face. But since the first time, I have learnt to handle my blush a lot better…:D

To be continued...

The Numbers Game

I am selective about movies I watch and I don’t waste hard earned money on every movie which is released. But like a lot of people, “Ek Tha Tiger” was on my “must watch in a theatre” list and I managed to watch in the first weekend itself.  

That is the power of big banner movies I guess. The draw of the movie automatically goes up when you have a big banner or a big actor/actress/director etc attached to it. And that is simply because of the track record of the people. Though today is the age of “You are as good as your last movie”, even then, one cannot discount the draw of a big banner like the YRF or a Dharma production.

The opening sequence was sharp and well done. Of course, it still amuses me how the entire gang of goons is quite inept at, well, being goons. It was the battle of the lone hero versus a bunch of bad guys where the bad guys are no match for the hero in terms of either athletic ability, agility, shooting skills or even pure nerve. Having said that, despite the reality and gravity defying situations, such sequences never fail to entertain and I know this isn’t the last time such a sequence will be shown.

As I chewed expectantly on my popcorn, the movie unveiled to expose a very mediocre story telling coupled with substandard performances. Thinking back, it was like the opening a chilled bubbly - massive fizz at the start and all you are eventually left with, is colored water.

Typically, in the days following a release, there is a lot of media frenzy around the movie. There are talk shows/interviews/discussions regarding the script, acting skills, chemistry between the lead pair, the music, etc. This includes opinions from critics, the film fraternity and people coming out of the movie halls.

But nowadays, I have started noticing this really insane trend of reporting box office grossing numbers! First weekend movie grosses 30 crores! This movie beat that movie by x crores! As unbelievable as the numbers are, it made me realize that movie making is after all - 'a money making business'.

Let us have a look at the math behind this. 

Let us consider first week collection to be 30 crore. Assuming the cost of a ticket is Rs. 200 to Rs. 250/-, it would mean roughly around 12-15 lakh people in the country have seen the movie in the first weekend. That is impressive. That would explain why producers insist on massive scales of release.

We often hear how there is a fight for release dates for two big banner movies. Then one of them, usually, shifts the dates. By ensuring that the movie is released across a majority of movie halls, not only is the choice for the audience limited, but also the initial hype and excitement is cashed upon to rake in the moolah. This is irrespective of the presence or the absence of quality in the movie making, script, acting or storyline.

Now I can see why no one puts their foot down and releases two movies at the same time. Both movies stand to lose!

Trade numbers are important to those investing in the movie. But why are these numbers getting discussed in so much detail? What is the audience supposed to do with these numbers? For a movie which was actually lacking in entertainment value, the fact that it made 30 crores in a certain week, means squat to me. All I took home was the fact that the movie was pathetic. 

When I hear the media declaring the movie a super hit due to such numbers, it just seems all wrong. Who decides what magic number of crores is the benchmark of a successful movie? Is monetary success the only measure of how good or bad a movie is? Just comparing absolute earnings of a movie is humbug. 

Movie making was and continues to be a business involving serious money. Movie makers have clearly taken the act of marketing the movie quite seriously. There are interviews on radio, TV, print, reality show appearances and the list is endless. Amongst all this 'advertising', the effort to actually make a movie seems to be lost. 

Irrespective of this, people will eagerly await new releases and big banner movies will continue to draw throngs. The need for entertainment will continue to exist. I know I am going to queue to watch the next YRF Jab Tak Hain Jaan on the first day itself. I just wish a few more of the movies actually live up to the hype and hoopla which is created pre-release. 

The Mystery of the Penguins

Have you seen the recent Coca Cola campaign ‘Ummeedon waali dhoop, sunshine wali assha’?

It is one of those ads which leave you feeling all warm inside. It talks about everything negative that everyone thinks/talks about while highlighting the positive that people do not know (possibly) or think/talk about. And, I don’t care whether the facts and numbers mentioned in the ad are correct. It always leaves a smile on my face.

It is one of the few ads I see to the very end, every time. After watching it one evening, I changed the channel and chanced upon the millionth broadcast of the 7 Up ad featuring Sharman Joshi and a set of grumpy penguins.

Each time I watch this ad right through to the end as well. And not because I love the creation. It simply boggles my mind.

For those lucky few who haven’t had the misfortune to be subjected to this ad, let me just take a minute to brief you.

Set up : People have come to see penguins (am guessing in a zoo or some sort of park) but the penguins look rather sullen. So Sharman Joshi, sips his 7 Up and does an extremely silly dance sequence and lo and behold – the penguins are now happy!

Am thinking the penguins wanted him to stop and hence pretended to look happy. They were suffering enough considering they were captive.

Maybe it is the MBA gyaan in my head which makes me look for the message and the consumer cues (and loads of other such jargon) in every advert. But each time I see this ad, I want to really look for one sane moment which can explain it all.

You know how some ads just don’t make sense? One wonders just how could they allow such ads to be made? Isn’t ad making an expensive process? Where there are agencies, marketing teams, branding teams and so on and so forth? How does such an ad make it through so many people?

So possibly 7 up was trying to say that you could ‘cheer someone up’ after drinking 7 Up. Ok, that would make sense.

But why use penguins? Is it because brands have started using animals in their advertisements? In the recent past, I could think of Kitkat (with the squirrels first and now the parrots) and Cadbury Gems (with the Pandas).

The Kitkat ads are cute. I love the angle of the skirmish between the furry couple and how they make up by singing a cheesy Bollywood number. The parrot ad is pretty much along the same lines. Here, the theme of the ads was to ‘take a break’ and notice things around you which you otherwise would miss. The use of animals in the storyline makes perfect sense to me.

The Panda made sense since Gems was possibly trying to talk about the different colors in their product. And the Panda changing color was a good way to showcase the same.

But I yet can’t see why 7 Up used penguins.

I agree, that all a cold drink does is quench your thirst and you really cant just communicate that. So I can understand the need for a beverage brand to latch on to an emotion:

• ·   Coke  - when you want to be happy or hopeful
• ·   Sprite  - when you meet a smart alec in your life and you want to best him
• ·   Mountain Dew  - when you confront something you fear

If you consider the ads made by these brands, they all talk about situations/circumstances which people encounter in their life be it the ‘boy meets girl’ in a bus with Imran Khan by Coke ad or the ‘boy meets oversmart boy’ campaign by Sprite. However over the top the ads might seem, the situation is very believable.

Unlike, the 7 Up ad.

I cannot imagine anyone running into penguins who would feel ‘cheerful’ after a mindless dance. Unless the penguins were set free post the consumption of soft drink!

So, if this were my ad and I was forced to have penguins in the storyline – I would have at least set the penguins free…!