Leap of Faith - I

Gina flipped through the tabloid with a grin on her face. All these tabloids ever carry, are stories of some incident woven out of hand. Maybe that is why she was never ever allowed to read such ‘trash’, as her parents called it. As she flipped through artfully put together photographs, Gina could not help but feel enchanted by it all.

Growing up, she could not remember a single glossy tabloid at home.  Even the celebrity news section that the daily carried was never there! She did not notice this for the longest time till she tried looking for page 25 after a friend at school mentioned it. The newspaper at home went miraculously from page 24 to Page 29! The fact that her parents were big in the movie business was something she did not know for the longest time.

Gina carefully read each alliance on the ‘New on the Just Friends List’. Jaxier and Rhea – they did make a brilliant couple but then they had a movie coming up. It was possibly a well timed ‘romance’. Rachel and Jimmy – she knew that was wrong. She knew exactly who Rachel was seeing. She had to admit though, Rachel and Jimmy looked quite spectacular together. Rachel was smiling into the camera donning a rather brilliantly put together royal blue sheath. Gina made a mental note of the designer.She would need to look him up.

But the media got it right quite often. Gerard and she had been on this list sooner than they had figured out their feelings for each other!

Her parents always looked so in love.She had seen them argue but then all marriages have those moments. Her friends at school were always cribbing about warring parents. She considered herself lucky that she had two loving parents who loved her as well as each other. But how hard could it have been for professional actors to fool a 14 year old? She had been devastated when her parents decided to split up. When she had told her friends about it, they had not been surprised. The tabloids had reported a rift before she got to know about it herself.

As she turned the page, the blood drained from her face. There was a picture of Gerard and Nina. The two had been together in drama school and had joined the movies at about the same time. Gerard was in Naples this month. And apparently so was Nina. Gina was unaware of this till now. The article went on about the weekend the two had spent in private gambling rooms. Gerard didn't even like gambling. They must have gone because of Nina. There was a speculation about Gerard missing the premiere tonight as he was otherwise occupied by Miss Nina. In a fit of anger, she threw the tabloid across the room.

She had never expected to join the movies herself, but the lure been too great for her to ignore. Today was the media premiere of her sixth movie. Time sure flew fast. 

Gina turned towards the mirror and gave herself a critical appraisal. As she went through her mental checklist, her mind was in turmoil. She had met Gerard while dubbing for an animation movie and the two had hit it off. That had been more than a year ago. Everyone thought they made a beautiful couple. She herself thought they complimented each other perfectly. She was the restless soul and he was the solid rock. Their relationship had pretty much been smooth sailing. They were planning a short vacation once her movie was released. In fact, they were supposed to meet his parents.

But what if this was true? 

She had read all the stories published about her parents. Her parents had fed her a lot of half truths about lunches, dinners and weekends spent away from her. But should she doubt what she had with Gerard because her parents had lied to her?

To be fair to Gerard, the media premiere had been re-scheduled at the last minute. He was not going to be able to make it. Even without Nina in the picture. 

She decided she would wait for his version of the story. As Savage Garden said, trust was more important than monogamy. Nina had been his friend since a while now. If they had wanted to get together, they would have by now. If Gerard had moved on, then he better tell her himself. Till then, she was going to be happy and deliriously drunk on love. If things were to go south, they would and she would deal with it.

Breathe in, breathe out. She could hear the commotion build up outside the door of her green room. She could hear Brenda, her assistant, soul sister and confidante, all rolled into one. This movie was important for Gina and Brenda knew just how much. She closed her eyes and thought of Gerard. I wish you were here to hold my hand.

When she opened her eyes, she half imagined she was dreaming. Gerard was standing there next to a beaming Brenda. Gina was very glad she was sitting down. She half feared she would have flung herself at him if she wasn't. 

All she could see was a smiling Gerard. She did not notice the bouquet of her favorite orchids he was holding. 

Her Gerard was not in some hell hole gambling away. He was here where he belonged. 

A Second Chance - II

Now, if I just dunk this. Rafael faked a left, dribbled the ball and sprang towards the basket. Yes! As his team mates lifted him, his eyes automatically landed on her. There she was. His heart rate upped a bit when she smiled back .She was possibly about to say something, when he got dragged by his team to form a rowdy huddle.

As he walked off the court, he could hear the men chant victory slogans. As their gaze reconnected, he could see the suppressed laughter in her face. He did not blame her. It wasn’t exactly the NBA playoffs but the men all behaved liked it was. Her smile increased in wattage as his stride brought him nearer to the stands. It took all effort to not run the last few steps to her. I can’t believe she is mine, thought Rafael, as they hugged.

As he headed to the locker room for washing up, Ashley proceeded to the bar as always. As he saw her walk away, he could not help but think about their up-coming trip. Nowadays, they did not get as much time with each other. The trip was just a weekend away and yet, Rafael could not wait for it to begin. Their itinerary had been planned weeks in advance. Everything was ready.

He just had to pick the ring tomorrow on his way back from work. I hope she says yes, thought Rafael. She should, ideally. But proposals could be tricky business and they had a complicated history.

During college, whenever Michael had met Rafael, Ashley featured prominently in Michael’s conversation. Everything led back to Ashley. Absolutely everything. Ice-cream, coffee, movies, music. Rafael could see Michael was falling for her but the idiot did not know it himself.

Thankfully, Michael had figured it out for himself. Rafael met Ashley when she came home to meet their parents. In the days leading to the wedding preparation, Rafael got to know her better. He could see why Michael was in a hurry to marry this woman. Ashley was everything Michael needed in his life.

Ashley’s parents were just like her. Warm hearted, sunny people. The families were happy. The couple was deliriously happy. The two families had decided to spend Christmas together. It was a quaint holiday planned outside the city and everyone was looking forward to the break.

It had been quite a Christmas - food, wine and people you love. It had started snowing with gusto and Michael had decided to get some lumber before they got snowed in – a trip which he should not have taken. Michael hated driving through fresh snowfall. If he would have just woken Rafael up, things would have been so different.

When Michael was not responding to his cell phone, Ashley had woken Rafael up. Rafael remembered the frantic drive to the lumber yard. One look at the mangle of blue metal, and Rafael’s heart had dropped to his stomach. Had Mike lived, he would have been a vegetable. Mercifully, he had died on the spot.

A family Christmas had turned uglier than anyone had ever imagined. Ashley was beside herself. His parents were inconsolable. Rafael had hidden his own sorrow somewhere and acted the older son. He cancelled the wedding preparations and made funeral arrangements instead.

When Ashley left the city and went back to her parents, Rafael had almost felt deserted. The one person who could share the sorrow with him was going away. When she had moved back to the city, she got in touch with him. What had initially started as companionship of a shared sorrow, had turned to more than that. He did not know exactly when, but they had stopped talking about Michael and had started talking about each other. Two years after the fatal crash, Rafael asked Ashley out.

As he reached the bar, Rafael could see Ashley sipping a deep red colored cocktail. There was an olive green colored drink waiting for him. Ashley was definitely more adventurous than him when it came to trying food or drinks. As Rafael took a tentative sip, the bartender who always served them, walked up to them and asked,’ did you like your drinks?’

As the three got into an easy conversation, Rafael could not stop thinking about the ring he was to pick tomorrow. The ring was a princess cut solitaire, sitting on a band of platinum. It’s been close to five years since the accident. She was back to being the bubbly, cheerful Ashley he had known and come to love. Yet there had been times where there would be a shadow over her. She had been honest about it to him which is why he was feeling confident about getting a ring now!

I just hope she is ready to take this step, Rafael thought. If she wasn’t, he would wait till she was. Being in love had burnt her once and he hoped she was ready to take the chance again.

East meets west

Technology has changed this world and despite the possibility of misuse, overall I would like to believe it’s been for the better.

My doctor who migrated to the US, has embraced this advancement in technology so that his patients here can still consult him. Skype video call has become the bridge between the US and India.

So it works this way: The patients would continue to be received at his consulting room in India. A qualified homeopathy doctor, who was training under him, would receive the patients’ case history and examine them. A doctor-patient chat can happen in real time through the medium of a video chat.

Prior to my doctor permanently shifting base, I had experienced this once. Given the time difference in California and Mumbai, I did not think he would continue consulting this way on a daily basis. 

When I contracted sore throat, given my faith in homeopathy, I tried a new and highly incompetent doctor. This was before I knew my doctor was up for sleep deprivation on a regular basis. When I realized he was, I decided to not bother with a locum.

I called the clinic when my sore throat refused to heal. You can imagine my surprise, when I realized my doctor was in Mumbai for a short while! 

Once we were done with my medicines, he took me through how technology had enabled him to consult across the globe. With this method of practice, it is now possible to have ‘face to face’ online consultations with patients from all over the US and other countries. With Google+ now offering upto 10 video conferences at the same time, there are even greater opportunities. My doctor and his doctor wife consult together on cases as well. In fact, one can consult with multiple specialists at the same time and as my doctor says ‘the patient lives happily ever after’.

A visit to the doctor is typically about ailment discussion, physical examination followed by a medical evaluation and prescribing medicines. I never thought I would ever see the application of a video chat in medicine(despite having seen a glimpse of it in '3 Idiots'). But I have tried it and believe me - it works just fine... :)

A Second Chance - I

As she saw Rafael dodge the opposition and dive towards the hoop, Ashley hoped he would dunk the ball. And yes – the ball went flying through the basket in the last few seconds of the match…! Rafael’s team had won!

Everyone lifted Rafael in jubilation. Amidst the chaos, their eyes collided and she could sense the euphoria he was feeling. His enchanting smile was magnified in this moment of extreme joy. He held her eyes, gave her a thumbs up but before she could mouth ‘well done’, Rafael was pulled down on the court and everyone huddled around him. So much emotion over a month end basketball match, Ashley thought smiling to herself. Only men could conjure up the energy for this.

As the huddle broke, she picked Rafael with ease. Of course, the fact that he wore his favorite black jersey made him easy to pick, but she could have picked him out of a ground full of similar clad people.

As he walked out of the group of excited men, his eyes connected with hers. And he smiled just for her. And the world ceased to exist. The noise, the commotion, all disappeared as he started walking towards her. She got up in time to receive a bone crushing hug from him. He got into an animated description about how the game had gone. She did not stop him even though she had just seen the entire match from court side seats! As they walked away from the court, Ashley realized just how much she looked forward to their upcoming vacation. They barely got quality time together nowadays.

As Rafael headed to wash up, she proceeded to the bar as always.

‘What should I get you?’ asked Jim.

‘Why don’t you surprise me today?’, Ashley smiled back. The bartender smiled and walked towards his work station.

It was a bar just like this one where Michael had asked her out. She always wanted her partner to be her best friend, someone she knew inside out. And one who knew her as well. She had known him for close to 4 years by when she had realized he was going to be a very vital part of her life. Saying yes seemed so natural.

She met Rafael the first time when Michael took her home to meet his parents. Rafael was Michael’s older brother. During the days leading to the wedding preparation, she got to know Rafael better. Lunches, dinners, movies, shopping trips. Some with Michael, some without.

But a dark Christmas morning, four months before the wedding, Michael went to pick some lumber and never came back. A trailer had lost purchase on fresh show and crashed headlong into Michael’s car. Had he lived, he would have been a vegetable. Mercifully, he had died on the spot.

Ashley did not remember much apart from going home to be with her family. She had quit her job and left the city where everything reminded her of Michael.

When she had moved back to the city after two months, her old boss was more than willing to take her back. Rafael helped her find a convenient apartment, was around to help her move. He asked her out two years after Michael died.

Rafael’s voice broke her reverie and brought her back to planet earth.

‘Are we being adventurous today?’, Rafael slid on the barstool next to her and looked at his green concoction quizzically.

‘It’s got kiwi and lime’, Ashley mouthed while sipping her drink.

‘Why does your drink look so much easier on the eyes’, Rafael had not even touched his glass,’ Like I have always told you - Jim likes you better’. He took a tentative sip of the green liquid.

’Did you like your drinks ?’,pointed more towards Rafael than Ashley.

‘It’s not as bad as it looks actually. It’s quite nice. Well done Jim. Tell me, how are your classes going?’

She could not take her eyes off Rafael. He was everything to her. She would never have imagined the gaping hole in her heart to disappear one day. Soon, it would be five years since the fateful accident. She could think about Michael without an ache in her chest. She could remember him fondly for who he was, for what they had shared.

She had never thought she could be happy again. But she was. Life had given her a second chance. She had found love again.

All that glitters is definitely not gold

I came back early from work one evening - it is a rarity to reach home at the time when kids are still howling in the playground. I assumed some hectic, energetic sport must be on. You can imagine my surprise, when I rounded the corner and came upon a large huddle of kids jumping excitedly. By kids, I mean a group of around 14 with ages ranging from 12 to 16 yrs.

I was very curious and waited till the commotion died down. I walked up to them and asked them what they had been doing. They were having matches on their PSPs! It was only after they mentioned the gadgets, did I notice the PSPs that the girls were ‘preparing for the next match’! They were playing some god-forsaken car racing game!

Since I stood there quite stunned, one of them assumed I was waiting for more information. So he took me through their gaming routine.

In the morning, they usually didn’t come out to play because of the sun.

‘We don’t want to get tanned in the sun’. Wonder where these kids get their Vitamin D.

Evenings are spent at some class or the other. Classes for Math, Physics, Chemistry, Biology and even History and Geography! Wow… really? Science and Math I can understand. But History? And Geography? I know it’s been a decade since I wrote an exam for these papers, but I am pretty sure it wasn’t that tough!

Anyway, among the group of 17 odd who play in our society, more than a dozen kids have PSPs, 4 of them have PS3s and 2 of them have Xbox consoles...! On any given day, everyone is occupied till 7 pm in some form of tuition or the other. They are obviously quite exhausted and not in the mood for any physical activity post that. These kids have scheduled gaming matches after careful discussion about their schedules. Each gadget has it’s appointed day of glory and there is a clear timeline for each one to bring their gadgets as well….! So this is their substitute for actual games...!

As I am listening to what all games can be played on the respective game consoles, I start noticing other things around me.

Some of these kids are messaging, checking facebook (I know cause one of these tykes sent me a friend request), emails or randomly checking their phones (I guess they were waiting for me to leave). What annoyed me, I guess, is that they were all sitting right there but yet they were pre-occupied on their phones.

But, what possibly annoyed me more - were the phones these kids were carrying. I can see at least 4 Blackberry phones, 2 iphones, and some fancy touch phones. Why the hell do they need such fancy phones?

As I stood scrutinizing these spoilt brats, I was distracted by ‘Aryan tumhari toh main pitayi karungi’. This is followed by an energetic kid, roughly 2 feet in all, who is rushing out of the building. Aryan is my neighbor. After close to 5 secs, he was followed out of the building by the house help.

And it hit me.

You know guilty conscious parents? The type who want to make up for the time they don’t spend with their children? They need not actually feel guilty about it – but for some odd reason they do.

I was seeing a prime example of that right in front of my eyes. I know which kid belongs to what household. Most of them are dual income households. Working parents with hectic work lives. Pushing themselves, making sacrifices for a better future.

Parents, in my generation, were not ambitious enough. Or maybe there were and they gave it all up so that they are around when we were growing up.

My mother waited up for me each day when I got back from school. If I had a particularly long day, she would prepare my favorite eats and treats.After an hour of my favorite cartoons, we would sit for studies. An hour of studies at max and we were free to go play!

We did not have fancy gadgets growing up. We pretty much grew up on games and sports our parents grew up on. We have fallen and had a fair share of bruises which we carried with pride (really it was quite cool to be seen with a bandage and red antiseptic liquid which resembled blood).

We attended classes to aid our studies. But now, the classes take up more time that the time spent at school…! And I don’t really blame these students/parents – it is damn competitive today.

I felt bad for this bunch I was talking to. They do not have the time to be children! Maybe these kids deserve the gadgets and the fancy material life.

I have something priceless of my own - I have the memory of a childhood.

Missing my doctor....

Since childhood, I have been a very ill child. Every specialist a person could end up visiting through the course of their life, was a part of my life within the first 3 yrs of my life. I am used to eating pills and taking nasty concoctions. Syringes, are another story altogether. I cannot think of even going for a blood test on my own. Till date, the pathologist I go to-is used to my showing up with either of my parents. I usually go early and wait in queue for my turn. The doctor patiently waits for my parent/s to turn up. After some light hearted teasing, he would prepare a new syringe for my blood test. He would give me a chocolate after the test and does so even to this day. Sort of removes the sting off the blood test!

I have gone to the same doctor since childhood. You know how you feel when you meet your childhood doctor? Just by being so sensitive, they make you feel like they will make you better in no time. That he will make you fit and fine? That he knows exactly what is wrong with you. Am pretty sure placebo effect is at work when he is involved. I feel I am getting better just after leaving his clinic.

My point is: I have always had the good fortune to be blessed with amazing doctors. The type who understand the fears of the patient and deal with it in a very loving manner. And somewhere I assumed every doctor would be the same.

Recently though, my illusions were shattered. My doctor migrated to the states. Since he migrated I have somehow managed to not fall ill. But I tried a new doctor when I had sore throat recently.

Just a background: This doctor is roughly in his early 30s. Has a fancy clinic near my house. Has gleaming expensive magazines stacked in the waiting area. Essentially, a place screaming of success. However, my meeting with him was a total washout.

After taking my history, which lasted a total of 10 mins, we had a rather brief discussion. This is how the meeting went:

Doc: since how long have you had sore throat?

Me: yesterday

Doc: how badly does it hurt?

Me: hurts when I swallow.

Doc: On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest: how badly does it hurt?

Briefly about me: I come from a background in market research. And when I heard the scale question, I couldn’t stop laughing in my head. And since he wasn’t anywhere as pleasant as my previous doctor, I decided to be obtuse.

Me: 6.5

Doc says: do you get relief from hot or cold foods?

Me: hot foods.

And that was it. He didn’t even check my throat. I am definitely not going back to him.

Are doctors as a breed becoming more mechanical? just about turning around more and more patients in a single day? Is there no human factor? Am I right in feeling cheated? Or am I being too expectant? 

Or did I go to one who was dead inside?

Either way, the experience left a bad taste in my throat...errr mouth. I want my doctor back!